i sounds familiar

years ago when i was on internship. there was someone who always helped me. doing this and that. and i was thankful coz i couldnt handle crowds and mass as good as that guy.

and his friend was maaaaddd at me. bcoz of her friend chose to help me.

i thought what the hell. we were on the same team. why she mad at me?

and i told her if she had a problem with that, she should tell him herself, not to me. she should tell him herself right in front his face. not to me as if she blamed me.

that, really made me mad. and as usual. i cry when i'm mad.

nothing

when someone you care about texted you "i don't care" well you know that's the right moment to stop care too.

why should that goes one way? even if that person really don't care, she don't need to say that right in front your face. it feels like someone throws a thick book right on your face. bitter. painful.

should she had the problem with anyone else, she better fixed that without dragging me in. i am not an owl! 

yes. i. am. mad.

Knock Knock...

I probably asked my friends weird question in the middle of the nite. That's the only way I can find out.....if there's anyhing wrong....

And before I know the answers, I keep wondering..feeling..hoping that i didnt hurt anyone.

This is insane. Is this whole thing is just a dream?

The Listeners

I'm not talking about the series (not even close! 😅) to it has similar title..

Being in Mom circle is confusing. I believe they are sweet n nice, but...they're too loud sometimes 😅

They're as confused as I am. I guess.

Why are you so quiet?
I don't like chit chat. I listen.

Why are you always busy?
If I don't create anything, I'm dead.

Why you seems ignorance n careless with people around you?
Ooh??  Tell me about being ignorance 😑

The point is...this is pointless. Just another aah-moment 😛

Cheers from the east 💛

Re-reading: Dunia Aradia

I'm a huge fan of teenlit. I have a "bad"  habit, I always read book while I eat. Some Indonesians prefer not to eat without sambal, or without crackers. Me, goin crazy looking for book to read before i took a meal.

Yeah call me crazy 😛

I usually choose teenlit, but John Grisham's and Dan Brown's are also nice to read.

Today, I've just finished reading (for a dozen times)  Dunia Aradia by Primadonna Angela. It' s a story about queen of all witches.

Something attracked me at Questions and Answers chapter at the back. The author answered the question on where she got the idea of that story. And this is what she said, something like this:

"That's when I sat by the window, my mind was wandering around. And suddenly came a little fairy asking for my help. She spread some glittering Fairy Dusts that brought back my memory from the life before, which was erased when I left fairy land."

So the dusts ring a bell....

Of course that could be just a metaphores..but feels relate somehow.

Good morning ☺

Imaginations...

once upon a time.... #eh 

well. 

have you ever had an imaginary friend? i didnt 😜 but i wished i had  a twin sister, and we could prank people around us. hahaha.

i'm talking about my tot now. she grabbed my phone n opened my image folders.. and saw a can-bday cake we made couple weeks ago. she sang happy bday cheerfully. 

"whose bday?" idk why, i just asked her aimlessly.

"sister's" she replied.

huh. cool.. so she had an imaginary sister now.

"sister's? what's her name?"

"seiya."

i wonder why she picked  a masculine name. perhaps bcoz she saw some episodes of saint seiya. no. i dont allow her to watch that cartoon 😑😑😑

anyways. a kid's mind could be so refreshing huh..

the bracelets

while i'm here, i'll continue writing. it's like dumbledore's pensieve.. haha

i have a friendship bracelet from my penpal. i still keep it somewhere, coz i'm problably a hoarder 😅 and. however. that person is my friend and always be my friend. but that's not the point.

lately i found an advert about distance bracelets. still wondering what's its concept, but it reminds me of someone who loves to wear a bracelet on right wrist.

aaannnd now my thought's juggling to the legend of red thread (don't be confused, this is just the way my mind works. people who can't stand it would run away in a second 😜). alright. red thread of destiny. wait. is that what they name it in english?

the first time i read about it was in a comic. a comic about ballerina who aimed to perform a dancing about it. i can remember few lines.. "going through the time.. and distance.. untill we meet again.. " or sort of.

what's the point of this writing? idk. as i said. it's a pensieve...

bye for now 😜

end of summer

aug. 2005


say it my friend let it out
let us know how you feel
then we'll say
that there's love around us

you know it will change thing we had
is it good or bad we decide
you know we could be weaker or stronger
dont need to think, we'd choose the last one

share things we have together
have no secrets to hide
nothing would last forever
but who knows, ours could be the first
take my hand we're holding hands

Random

randomly pick this blog. why? idk why * joke. yeah of course i know  why. reminds me of sunflowers, thats it.

drifting back to years ago at oral medicine class feb. 4th 2005. that was completely stressful. all of sudden i felt a massive heat. it was so strong n my friends said my face turned into red. i didnt know whats goin on. my friends teased me that i got menopause syndrome 😑😑 puh-lease. i was 23!

it happened again a couple of times everytime i felt stressful. i thought i needed to see doctors. i didnt, tho.

now, that i digged that memory, i know ecxactly what happened...